Today I decided to work on a personal project involving death – more specifically, suicide. Words have a huge impact on me, and are very important to me. There are some quotes that I don’t think I will ever get over. When I think about suicide, I always come back to Freddie Prinze. Thinking about this sort of thing puts me in a weird mood. I go on Youtube and look up some of his old comedy and it makes me feel connected, which is weird to say, but I don’t know how else to put it.
The first thing I knew about Freddie Prinze was something he’d said shortly before he killed himself. That is to say, the reason I found out he existed is because he committed suicide. The quote, “I can’t hear them laughing anymore,” is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever read.
I can’t explain to you why this is so important to me; I can only tell you that I am always saddened when I think of the greatness that is lost with death. Not exclusively suicides, but death in general. The loss of potential – that’s what saddens us so much about death. Everything that could’ve been for that person that never can be. Sylvia Plath, Kurt Cobain, Freddie Prinze all impacted me, even after death. I’m so grateful for the internet and for the ability to learn about lives lost, and to soak up the beauty that they brought to the world before leaving.
Nights like tonight, I like to watch footage or read poems or listen to music and take in all of the life that is left in the world, even though the people who inspired it or created it are no longer living.