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Thoughts on suicides

Today I decided to work on a personal project involving death – more specifically, suicide.  Words have a huge impact on me, and are very important to me.  There are some quotes that I don’t think I will ever get over.  When I think about suicide, I always come back to Freddie Prinze.  Thinking about this sort of thing puts me in a weird mood.  I go on Youtube and look up some of his old comedy and it makes me feel connected, which is weird to say, but I don’t know how else to put it.

The first thing I knew about Freddie Prinze was something he’d said shortly before he killed himself.  That is to say, the reason I found out he existed is because he committed suicide.  The quote, “I can’t hear them laughing anymore,” is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever read. 

I can’t explain to you why this is so important to me; I can only tell you that I am always saddened when I think of the greatness that is lost with death.  Not exclusively suicides, but death in general.  The loss of potential – that’s what saddens us so much about death.  Everything that could’ve been for that person that never can be.  Sylvia Plath, Kurt Cobain, Freddie Prinze all impacted me, even after death.  I’m so grateful for the internet and for the ability to learn about lives lost, and to soak up the beauty that they brought to the world before leaving.

Nights like tonight, I like to watch footage or read poems or listen to music and take in all of the life that is left in the world, even though the people who inspired it or created it are no longer living.



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Faith in Humanity #1

As many of you know, I am not a fan of humans.  Because of this general looming loathing for humanity, when something inspires me to have faith in humanity, I log it away to reflect upon at a later time when I have no more faith left in me.  Today I came across one of those things that made me so happy that I wanted to share it.  I also realize it would be extremely helpful to know about this, so I wanted to share it for that reason, too.

Disneyland and Disney World now have free guidebooks geared for people traveling with people who have cognitive disabilities/sensitivities.  The guidebooks feature what to expect when in each section of the park, and have very specific descriptions or attributes listed for each section of the park.  That is to say, if someone is prone to seizures, it would be helpful for them to know if one ride or area would be triggering for them.


Along with the descriptive section, they also have a FAQ section with helpful insight as to where to go for meltdowns or breaks, the location of family restrooms, how to prepare, and what to bring.  Not everything in this guidebook applies to me personally, but I think it’s super helpful and will use it to prepare myself for when I go to Disney.  Anxiety can be crippling in crowded situations; having this sort of insight into the park layout will be helpful even for that.


Maybe everyone else knew this existed and I’m just the last to know, but I thought this was fantastic and wanted to share it.  Hopefully it gives you just a little bit more faith in humanity too.

(PDFs of the guidebooks:)

Disneyland guidebook
Disney World guidebook

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The Unlovely

As many of you have seen, I started rewriting a story I wrote in 2010 about a character called Fang.  I have recently finished composing and illustrating this story, and this post is mostly to let you know where you can access it as well as me promoting myself like a champ.

If you would like to read the story of Fang, you can check that out here:


There is also a permanent link in the upper right corner of this blog for easy access later on.  I felt the story of Fang was necessary backstory for this series that I’ve wanted to pursue for a while now.   I’ve always had an affinity for the unlovely; I’m excited to share it with you.

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Bad shows, good actors.

This round of “Why do bad shows happen to good actors?” is focused on 2 Broke Girls’ Kat Dennings.


2 Broke Girls started out alright, and has seemed to bottom out somewhere in the category of “pretty lame with 1-2 laughable moments per episode.”  Clearly, people still watch and enjoy this show because their ratings are still high.  I find it irritating that shows with horrible writing and acting manage steady, high ratings, while brilliant shows with genius writing get cancelled or pushed to mid-season (note: Arrested Development; Community).

Personal issues aside, 2 Broke Girls lost its spark.  It gained a new spark with the addition of actor Eric Andre; his chemistry with Kat is fantastic and that pulled the show up a notch, in my opinion.  Kat Dennings is the real selling point here, though.  Her comedy is unique and her delivery conveys her confidence and comfort with who she is.  When gauging her acting and comedy abilities, it’s better to check out the Thor films (especially Thor 2; in my opinion, she was the best part, besides Tom Hiddleston).  To be fair, she has little to work with on this show (writing, acting, storylines, you name it), which makes her shine even more.  With the unexplainable success of this show, Kat Dennings seems to be hurling toward a very successful career while maintaining her uniqueness and individuality.


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Top ten reasons I would marry someone for their wealth

As a female, I’ve been taught that I am part of the weaker gender (this is not true by any means, but it’s obviously hard to re-teach an entire society something so widely accepted, but we’re getting there.  anyway…).  Since I was young, I’ve seen movies or television shows or read books about women finding their identity and life’s purpose in marriage.  Some women, I noticed, had their own motives and it seems like – especially in the older stories – women with their own self in mind, married rich in order to live their lives how they wanted to.  Love AND prosperity being impossible, the “wiser” of the women would marry an older rich man, await his eventual death, and then are winners in the end.

Obviously not all stories play out this way, lots of intelligent women marry lovely rich men for reasons other than their money, and lots of men, I’m sure, marry rich women solely for their money.  My point is, because of these things, I’ve actually thought about what I would do if some rich guy was all, “Hey Joy, let’s get married.  I have an indoor pool.”  Here I will share with you the selfish reasons why I would consider marrying someone for their wealth.

10.  Security (aka boring stuff)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have to include the obvious.  Security is important, especially because I’m unemployed.  I could buy houses for my parents, and a house for my cat, and still have enough money to live my life in Scrooge McDuck happiness.  I think this is a nice, noble selfish reason.

9.  Meet really cool fun awesome people
Rich people know famous people.  I don’t really know how; I guess they buy themselves tickets to the Oscars and the Golden Globes and force hilarious celebrities to be friends with them.  Either way, Rich-Future-Mr-Joy totally would be my gateway to Best Friendship with Aubrey Plaza, Anna Kendrick and Jennifer Lawrence and I am so for that.

8.  Do fun things/sell fun things/make fun things
This is kind of a gigantic and vague category.  I would love to just create things as my full time job; collaborating with amazingly creative people to make things that brighten the world.  I wish I could afford to invest all of my time into projects and ideas.  Unfortunately all of my projects and ideas are currently funded by imaginary dollars.

7.  Fancy pools and fancy bathrooms
On top of that, they have these absurdly amazing bathrooms.  I had no idea bathrooms could be so extravagant – I mean, rich people know what we do in there, right?? WAIT – DO RICH PEOPLE NOT POOP???

ImageThese people bathe in a bowl and shower in what I can only assume is a converted teleportation device.

ImageLooking at these pictures, I can see why murderers always kill rich people in bathtubs.  They are ridiculously incredible, and very hard to get out of.

6.  Absurdly cool houses
If you know me at all, you know I love tiny spaces.  When I was a kid, I used to climb into the cupboards and just hang out there (another reason why I am real-life Harry Potter, obvs).  I never wanted a giant house because large rooms and large places freak me out; I just don’t feel comfortable.  HOWEVER! Did you know a giant mansion could very well be made up of a thousand small rooms? It can and it should be.  And mine would be.  Complete with secret rooms and gardens and that pool we just talked about.  Think of all the bathrooms you could have in this sucker:
ImageImageThe fact that this guy has his mansion in the middle of all that water really speaks to the introvert in me.

5.  Finally being able to afford the clothing I see online
I could finally shop at Free People! I could buy their eerily expensive socks! I could buy those sweaters Lauren Conrad wears! I could hire a personal trainer so that eventually I could fit in the sweaters that Lauren Conrad wears!

4.  Making a difference in the world
Clearly this list isn’t practical, nor is it realistic; if I had all that money, there’s no way I’d blow it on Free People socks.  There are a lot of organizations that I see working and moving and I feel really passionate about some of the causes, but I’m incapable of finding a way in my current state of being to help said organizations.  I would love to be able to help out friends when they need help, and to donate to organizations making a difference in my local area as well as around the world.  There’s something fulfilling in just sending money to people in need.  This would be really important to me.

3.  My own studio
One thing (I think the ONLY thing) I liked about The Vow was that Rachel McAdam’s character had her own gorgeous, giant studio.  Granted, all I currently need space for is small projects and t-shirt making, but I would love to do some balloon painting, or just make paint explosions and spray paint life away.  I love paint.  I love getting it everywhere.  I don’t think anyone I’ve lived with so far shares this feeling, so until I marry Rich-Future-Mr-Joy, this will have to wait.

2.  A big-a** library
We all know Belle wouldn’t have been nearly as excited about the beast’s interests if he hadn’t given her a GIANT library.  I love books.  I love being around books.  I don’t even need to read them, just make a massive pile of paperbacks and let me lay on them.  Can I make another Scrooge McDuck reference? I would love to jump into a giant room full of books and swim around like McDuck in his room of coins.  He endured the undoubtedly incredible head injuries; I can endure the paper-cuts.

1.  Traveling
As a youth transitioning into older youth, I’m realizing how much of the world there is and how I’ve seen about two smidgens of it.  I’ve never even been out of North America.  Rich-Future-Mr-Joy and I could go all over the place.  We could go to EVERY Disney establishment! We could go to Cappadocia! We could go see that Adventure Time train in Taiwan! We could go to that light festival I’m dying to go to! We could go anywhere, and we would and it would be great because that’s what rich people do.

ImageWhen I first started this list, I was totally joking.  Now I’m not so sure.  It would be super handy to marry a rich guy.  If one stumbles across my path and I stumble across his, HERE’S HOPING IT WORKS OUT.  I’LL GIVE YOU ALL FIVE DOLLARS.

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Reading Bingo – Books 6-8



Red Glove by Holly Black (a book with magic)
I am obsessed with this series.  The other day I was trying to explain why I’ve fallen in love with it, and I think it is mostly because the ideas she presents haven’t crossed my mind.  It’s an entirely new world with entirely new secrets.  I always wished I’d loved Harry Potter when I was younger so I could discover the secrets as I read along, but I jumped in too late and it was sort of all blown for me already.  In the world Holly Black created, everything is new but not too new that it’s confusing.  I love the main character, and I can’t wait to finish this series.

the lightning thief
Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan (a book based on a myth)
The thing that suckered me into this series was the chapter titles.  I could tell it was written in a way that wouldn’t be dull or cliche.  As I approached the idea that Riordan ran with, I was skeptical.  Honestly, I thought it was a pretty stupid concept.  The fact that Riordan could hold my attention and keep me wanting more when I thought the whole world he was going with was dumb says so much about him as an author, I think.  I look forward to continuing this series as well, much to my own surprise.

Everybody Sees The Ants by A.S. King (a book set in the summer)
As many of you know, I don’t read the descriptions of books.  I go off of recommendations, preferred authors, genres, and sometimes (no judging) the covers of the books.  I don’t remember why I heard about Everybody Sees The Ants, but when I started reading it, I had no idea what to expect.  This book got the raw end of the deal because it came after The Lightning Thief which came after Red Glove.  The only reason I haven’t continued on with either series is because my library currently does not have the next books.  So, I started Everybody Sees The Ants, not knowing what to expect and starting it pretty begrudgingly.  Needless to say, this book won me over.  A.S. King wrote excellently, and wove together a story with a typical teenage boy that was not infuriating or angsty.  Her characters were well developed, and she had enough surprises throughout the book to keep me guessing.  She threw in certain aspects that were unbelievable, which I totally loved.  I very much enjoyed this book, although I don’t think it’s for closed minded people who don’t understand the aspects of bullying.